Dear Earthworm Envy,
I came across your blog about the Picnic Puzzle Party while surfing the web for cute dog photos. My eyes teared up when I learned about your mom and dogless dog collar. That is why I am inviting you to Whitebird, Idaho for my poodle themed birthday party this summer when I turn 16. Don’t worry about not bringing a poodle. I have two toy poodles, and you can borrow the one named Natty Light.
The party will be fun. I am asking my friends to not trim their poodles for a month before the party so we can have poodle makeovers. There will be different prizes for sexiest, ugliest, sluttiest, and most republican looking poodle. Then we’ll bake special treats that poodles and people can enjoy.
Before I blow out the candles on my poodle shaped boston cream pie, I want you to recite or sing a poodle poem or song. When my parents go to sleep we’ll move the party down to a beach along the Snake River. Around the fire we’ll play spin the bottle. Last time I had to kiss my own poodle 3 times (GROSS)! Will you buy us a case of Natural Light beer?
My parents say if you want to stay longer than a night, you can camp in the backyard and explore the area. You can take Natty Light swimming, hiking, fishing and bicycle riding.
Hope to see you this summer,
Andrea Robey
Hello Andrea,
Thank you for the invite to your poodle party. I hope you didn’t get too choked up over the Picnic Puzzle Blog. Like Jesus, I tend to use parables. My mother happens to be a terrific woman who has never given me a dogless dog collar Christmas present. I hope this doesn’t disappoint you.
As of right now, I cannot commit to making it to your poodle party. Amy and I are thinking about returning to the lower 48 states this summer. We are contemplating riding our bikes from Boise to Sandpoint. If we do, it would be fun to stop by and say hi to you, Natty Light, and your parents. I have always had a good time in Whitebird, especially at the Whitebird Rodeo.
Sounds like your party will be perfectly planned. Don’t forget that your poodles can teach you some valuable travel lessons. Up here in Alaska, I too have been partying with a four-legged friend. His name is Murphy the Friendly Black Lab. Murphy taught me that clapping can be a great nonverbal exclamation point. Also, if you clap enough times in a row, your request might be granted.
Murphy clapping
I’ve also met a few dogs that can fly through hoops and balance on logs.
Earthworm Envy
P.S. Have you considered decorating for your party by hanging cardboard pink poodles from the trees in your backyard?
The Flying Terrier
Earthworm Envy 