Zoe’s Cafe located in Kendrick, Idaho

Kraft-inspired Omelet

If this were an apple pie review instead of an omelet review, we could recommend Zoe’s in good conscience. The pie was good. On to the omelet!

The body wants to feel loved instead of teased. We’ve been cruising the Palouse countryside (some of the best farmland in the world) in an omelet adventure that has left us feeling not only teased but abused. Zoe’s Cafe served us a chemically induced bellyache. These sort of omelets only taste good after a lousy one night stand, debilitating hangover, or making it through another night of depression. When a person feels good, they naturally do not seek out buttery bread, oily hash browns, and processed cheese. After eating a Kraft-inspired omelet, the belly is once again begging for another kiss from a stranger, another swig of mad dog, and more depressed thoughts that bring about living tears.

People who eat processed/chemical food nourish a dull pain. They are probably trying to escape their neighborhood supermarkets and their own cupboards. When people reach out to the cafes for help and are served fabricated lies, the owners need to be held accountable. Much like the young boy who seeks out the Lord but instead gets acquainted with a horny priest. The great cathedrals and parishes have begun to be cleansed of devils in priests garments, and so must the cafes. Cafes are temples to Mother Earth’s edible abundance. They must be cleansed of processed and chemically altered food disguised in omelet garments.

After eating at Zoe’s Cafe, we realized that what started as an innocent flirtation has turned into an abusive omelet relationship. Wanting to believe that next time really will be different, we visit another cafe, order another omelet, and get smacked with processed cheese once again. We’re packing our things and leaving town. Maybe in Portland we’ll be able to find the omelet love that we deserve.