A Poem for my Mom Who’s Son still Pee’s in his Bed

Sometimes my thoughts
embarrass her
like a little kid who still
pee’s in his bed at age 12.
Whose sleep and dreams
are too peaceful
to be tossed away for protocol.

I’m an adult.
I still piss on myself
but in my head.

My mind mentally pisses
a stream of thought
after thought
after thought
into the toilet ears
of normality.

I would rather piss
on myself
and lie
in a urine soaked bed
of imagination
than be disturbed
by the dictates
of social norms.

My mom
however
always blushes
and with her apology worded wash cloth
cleans up my mental mess.

Moon Handbook: Santa Barbara and the Central Coast discovers the musical talent of Brandon Follett

It’s true! I’ll play guests a song or recite a poem at the Bridge Street Inn.  Pick up a Moon Handbook at your local bookstore or at the Moon website.

 

Singer Song Writers at Play at the KREUZBERG

For those of you who couldn’t make last nights Songwriters at Play here’s a taste of what you missed.

Thank you Steve for the invite to play!

Songwriters At Play are fun shows, held every week. Pro songwriter Steve J Key hosts top local talent from California’s Central Coast region, and touring professional artists.

Here’s the press release about the July 17 show:

SONGWRITERS AT PLAY

Tuesday, July 17th, 2012

Kreuzberg CA

Seattle Soulful Country Singer Joy Mills in SLO – 6:30-9:30pm

685 Higuera St.
San Luis Obispo California 93401
805.439.2060

Price: Free!

Seattle’s Joy Mills and her band The Starlings wowed us a couple of years ago, and now Joy returns with a new solo CD, Trick of the Eye. She calls it “balladeering and soulful country songs about the ethos and modern myth.” Or perhaps you can judge her by the company she keeps — Joy has shared stages with Todd Snider, The Avett Brothers, Fred Eaglesmith, The Wood Brothers, and Eilen Jewell. Preview her new tunes at http://joymills.bandcamp.com/

 An all-star lineup of performers is set for July 17: Holly Ann Phillips, New York’s Julia Poorman, Chicago’s Captain Ambivalent, Atascadero duo Young Ireland, and Cambria’s Brandon Follett. Songwriters At Play showcases are held every Tuesday, 6:30-9:30pm at Kreuzberg, 685 Higuera St., San Luis Obispo. 805.439.2060. The showcase includes one featured act and 5-6 others playing 4-song sets. There is no cover charge. All ages are welcome.http://kreuzbergcalifornia.com

“Cambria Doesn’t Stink” says my Nose

unhappy stressed out nose

Dear Brandon,

I have an unhappy nose. It has become resentful of the rest of my body. My nose recently pointed out over the last several years:

-my legs hiked the Pacific Crest Trail.
-my eyes got to see works of art at the Louvre Museum in Paris.
-my brain went to the Smithsonian in Washington DC.
-my belly and tongue tasted the Portland, OR food truck scene.
-my arms and chest went on a sea kayaking trip in the San Juan Islands.
-my heart went on a weekend date to Atlanta, ID.
-my toes regularly go to the beach.
-several times a month my fingers go to the petting zoo and recieve a manicure.

Physically the jealousy has manifested itself into stress. Besides my nose being unhappy it’s now ugly. Covered in blackheads. I have promised my nose a vacation. Please help me by answering a few questions.
-Does the BSI use cleaning products with misleading smells that might confuse my nose by making it think it’s in a rainforest?
-Does Cambria have oil refineries, pulp mills, 8 lane freeways, and feedlots?
-Do the ally’s in Cambria smell like piss similar to SF’s ally’s?

Thanks in Advance,

Francisco De Lovely

Hello Francisco,

No, to all the above.  I too forgot I had a nose. One day I had no inspiration. I went to Moonstone Beach to sit in solitude and listen to the small voice found in my heart. That afternoon on the beach my heart whispered nothing profound. However my nose breathed in the smells of Cambria and sniffled out this song. Below are the lyrics and a recording of the song. I now follow my nose instead of my heart.

See you soon,

Brandon

What’s that You Say Nose?

What’s that you say nose?
It might not be good
to live, eat, drink and fuck
by that fuckin smell.

Little baby isn’t cute who wears a smelly diaper.
Hot woman with inflamed tonsils has a smelly kiss.
The man with gangrene has a stinky leg.
Spoiled milk has a pungent smell.
The smell of moldy lentils makes me want to hurl.
My nose has taught me
to stay away from these bad smells.

What’s that you say nose?
It might not be good
to live, eat, drink and fuck
by that fuckin smell.

Cigarettes are smelly.
Agro business is smelly.
Polluted rivers are smelly.
Cheap perfume tested on animals is smelly.
Bombs and blood are smelly.
Growing up I was told my nose has smelled wrong.
They say breathe in the smell of progress.

What’s that you say nose?
It might not be good
to live, eat, drink and fuck
by that fuckin smell.

A performance of What’s that You Say Nose?

The Dear Rabbit show a SUCCESS at The Bridge Street Inn

The community of Cambria and the guests at The Bridge Street Inn enthusiastically turned out for the hour and half show. Here are some of the highlights from concert.

http://dearrabbit.bandcamp.com/

http://www.facebook.com/dearrabbitsongs

http://veronicaandthementalforeplays.bandcamp.com/album/no-room-for-growth

http://www.weirdosmusic.com/

If you are a performer of the arts and think The Bridge Street Inn would be a good venue for your show contact me at bridgestreetinn@yahoo.com.

God in the Field

God in the Field performed by Veronica and the Mental Foreplays
Brandon Follett on vocals
Josh Kindelberger on guitar and bass

lyrics by Brandon Follett
music by Josh Kindelberger

Might have saw god in the solitude of a field.
Might have felt god in the grass between my toes.
Might have seen god in the undeveloped skyline.
Might have heard god in a blue jay’s chirp.
Not sure if I do believe in god
but at least I feel at peace.

The next year
a church had been built
in the field
where god might have been.
There I met a loud, guilt-driven, reincarnated Adam Smith.
He collected dollar bills
that read, “In God We Trust.”
He calls them testimonies of faith.

I told the preacher about the field
so he took me to the gift shop
and said, “You’ll find all that peace
in this consumer Jesus doll for $5.00.”
So I bought it.
He then proceeded to pray,
“May this Christ-like bobbling head
forgive your sins,
corporate salvation save your soul.”

Not sure if I believe in God
but do know I’ve been swindled.

Veronica and the Mental Foreplays

Neither “Veronica” nor Brandon Follett can break the rules, because there simply aren’t any that apply.  They are innocent.

Veronica and the Mental Foreplays, IS her imaginer Brandon Follett.  It’s as straightforward as a one to four person band, named after a blowup doll called Veronica.  Mechanistic Lover Veronica is the namesake.  Brandon Follett is the lyrical observer who spares neither humor nor suprise.

Toss the expectations – these is no preparation for this.

Brandon Follett’s uniquely explorative humor earned its own title “Follettry”.  His sideways observations socially enliven Jesus, earthworms, ribbed coffins and American presidents.  His entertainment smiles at the expense of safe values 1 Corinthians 13:13 And These Three Remain Faith, Hope and Love.  But the Greatest of These is LOVE

There are no hidden secrets – if Veronica is about mental foreplay, Follettry is about Brandon Follett touching all the untouched topics, purely for self entertainment.

Follett goes on with the show without apology.  Some give raving testimonials.  Other counter with “restimonials”.  His Mom has been telling him to put it to rest since Veronica’s debut in 2000.  “Piss Poem” started as his apology to her but took a wrong turn along the way.  Ballad of Johnny is all turns.

“Oddly entertaining.”

It’s no just the lyrics, it’s not the music…it’s the Follettry.

Follett’s redefined take on “obvious” shines through his music, comedy, poetry, books and performances.  See a show, to see anew.

Talented musicians who have played with Veronica through out the years:

June 2011
Rebeca Suarez of Mostecelo on vocals, guitar, drums, tamborine

2002 to 2004
Josh Kindelberger on bass
Isaac Bonn on drums
Allyson Wuenschel on Viola
The four of us recorded the album No Room for Growth released in 2011.

Veronica at the Four E's Bar in Kuna, Idaho

2000 to 2002
Josh Kindelberger on bass

I heard Josh play bass and he heard my poetry and we new their was something special.  The beginnings of Veronica and the Mental Foreplays.  Josh in spirit still plays in the band.