December 6th was a rough day because this year I have been bad.
During the summer I accepted the use of a large black Dodge truck that sported a George W. Bush sticker. I didn’t even use the truck for its utilitarian value of hauling sheep or large flat screen tv’s.
Amy and I drove the truck to Hope, Alaska to simply wander around for an hour. Usually I enjoy being a smidgen evil because I can always seek forgiveness in Christ and offset my carbon footprint through credit. These fun-loving, not-holding-myself-accountable ways changed when I met our Swiss guests.
They have been scaring me with stories about an individual who doesn’t listen to sob apologies. His name is the Schmutzli. Every 6th of December, he and Saint Nicholas visit families in Switzerland and hostels in Girdwood, Alaska. Saint Nicholas gives out fruit and nuts to good people while the Schmutzli kidnaps people who have been bad. The misbehaving people awake in a secret location somewhere in the Black Forest of Europe. Saint Nicholas has a very hungry donkey who loves carrots, and the bad people are forced to peel carrots until their fingers bleed. The Schmutzli adheres to the notion that bad people must be tortured into being good.
I tell the Swiss I don’t believe in St. Nicholas aka Santa Clause. The Swiss then giggle, “Really, you don’t believe in Santa and the Schmutzli? For the last 8 years, who has been giving out gifts of freedom? Yes, Santa Bush, and who is his helper? The CIA Schmutzli. And where did Santa’s helper take the bad people? To the land of rendition probably somewhere in the Black Forest. Check out the 2009/11/05 New York Times, Italy Convicts 23 Americans for C.I.A. Renditions.”
I prefer the December 25th holiday where I turn my thoughts toward the birth of Christ in a stable and the infanticide of the all the males in Bethlehem under the age of two. These images are much more joyous than dealing with the anxiety of being abducted by the Schmutzli.
Luckily, 2009 has been a great year for everyone at the hostel.
Here are some photos of making and eating Swiss bread babies on Dec 6th. Special thanks to Salome and Avi, THE SWISS.