Simba’s located in Chiang Rai, Thailand

Omelets Shouldn’t have Breasts

From the street, Simba’s kitschy décor is what initially attracts me to try an omelet. Inside, I head straight for a comfy seat on the couch. A Thai woman hands me a menu while an American-looking man switches off the TV. I feel suspiciously like I’ve just walked into their living room, especially when I notice the furry cat running around.

The beautiful, Thai woman in her strappy sundress and heels is the server, and she’s also the cook. The older, American man laments that he can’t help out for fear of being deported. He grumbles that he has no work permit but seems perfectly content to leave his wife/girlfriend to tend to our omelet needs.

The surprise omelet bonus at Simba’s is the really friendly cat. Recently, I have been trying to pet more cats and dogs while eating omelets. This is in preparation for my upcoming trip to Laos. I figure if I can be comfortable with a pet beside my omelet, then the next step of a pet inside my omelet will be easy to swallow. Today my omelet experience is going smoothly, and I feel really comfortable about going to Laos to try my first dog or cat omelet.


Everything is going well until I notice the art on the wall. In Thailand, where it is rare to see women bare their shoulders, posters of bare-breasted women seem out of place. Like a TV blaring a football game can distract a person from their buffalo wings, the art on the wall detracts from the omelet experience.


The art is a strange mix of children and topless women, which starts me wondering about spatial relationships in the definition of child pornography. Some people might consider a photograph of a nude woman standing beside two children kissing to be pornographic. What about a photograph of a nude woman next to a photograph of two children kissing–is that pushing the envelope? What happens when you add an omelet to the picture?


Additional note: As a society, we despise child pornography. Why do we uphold a standard of beauty for women to appear pre-pubescent by shaving their legs and armpits?


2 responses to “Simba’s located in Chiang Rai, Thailand

  1. Ha! Sorry, but I couldn’t stop laughing when you likened a cat next to omelet as a precursor to having a cat inside of your omelet.

    As for your question at the end, about pre-pubescent appearances portrayed in adult women, it’s pretty typical of what we expect of women. We should always try to be young and beautiful because old and salty women are no longer useful or desireable in our modern society. It’s truly ironic that we’re not supposed to see children or adolescents as sexual creatures, yet we pull some pre-pubescent characteristics from that time of life and attempt to replicate them as adults. If you want to read more about this, look to the sociological literature on sexuality and gender, especially Foucault.

  2. Innocence transcends into beauty. A moment caught. Picturesque. Feelings are felt out (though not to be touched) accordingly. Generic of sort. Static we are not. But dynamic we are cuffed. Who is it that says? Only that we may stand strong in what is our intentions. Thoughts we do not control. Where the mind can go. Who is it that follows? And why is the follower following? Humanity the cycle. A infant feeds on the breast. Sex is evolution. I would like the revolving omelet please.

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